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Das Folgende ist zwar schon alt, aber doch immer wieder lustig:

It's a tuesday, 2:00 in the morning
Tower: unknown flight approaching from south-east, please identify
Pilot: guess who i am
Tower: i repeat, unknown flight approaching from s-e, please identify
Pilot: guess who i am
Tower: last chance, unknown fligth approaching from s-e, identify !
Pilot: guess who i am
fluglotse schnippt mit dem finger an einem schalter und schaltet die landelichter aus
Tower: guess where i am

          
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Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot: Again!

           
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Pilot: Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS 16.
Tower: Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm - and by the way: this is Wien Tower
Nach einer Denkpause
Pilot: Bratsilava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker.
Tower: Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!"
Nach einer Denkpause
Pilot: Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?
Tower: You can believe me, this is Vienna!
Nach einer erneuten Pause
Pilot: But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!
Tower: Oscar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach, turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava. 
 
           
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Tower:
Delta Delta Whiskey, rollen Sie ueber Teerweg zwo null neun Charlie und Mike zum GAT.
Pilot: Aeh...Teerweg zwo...?
Tower: Das ist der kleine rechts. Sie sind gerade dran vorbeigerollt.
Pilot: Sorry.
Tower: Don't worry, nehmen Sie den Mike.
Pilot: Aeh, ...Mike ?
Tower: Das ist der letzte ganz hinten rechts...
 
            
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Pilot: ...Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
 
           
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Pilot: Tower, da brennt ein Runway-light.
Tower: Ich hoffe, da brennen mehrere.
Pilot: Sorry, ich meine, es qualmt.

            
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Tower (Stuttgart): Lufthansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots.
Pilot: Das ist ja wie in Frankfurt. Da gibt's auch nur 210 und 170 Knoten... Aber wir sind ja flexibel.
Tower: Wir auch. Reduce to 173 knots
 
              
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Pilot: Ground, XY-line 195, requesting start-up.
Tower:  Sorry, XY-line 195,we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination ?
Pilot: Wie jeden Montag, nach Leipzig.
Tower:  Aber, wir haben heute Dienstag !
 
          
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Tower:  Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?
Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot.
 
          
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Tower:
Lufthansa 893, number one, checkcar on the runway.
Pilot: Roger we'll check the car on the runway.
 
          
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Tower:
Delta Bravo Charlie, ist Ihr Squawk wirklich sieben null vier sechs?
Pilot: Positiv.
Tower: Ich mag's kaum glauben, Sie haben eine angezeigte Hoehe von minus neunzig Fuß.
 
          
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Tower:
  Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel! 

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